Our Hearts Are Full

Everyone has a different experience in having thier first child, this is OUR story.

Everything couldn't have gone smoother the day we went into the hospital. I always imagined weaving in and out of traffic while Joni was hollering in pain, then rushing into the hospital in a wheelchair or on a stretcher. We walked in on our own at 8am, checked into our room, then sat and talked as we watched students on the UNC campus walk to their classes. Joni was induced at about 2pm on Friday. After some longer and more frequent/painful contractions began a couple of hours later, she took the epidural. That was the first time I think Joni felt a lot of pain, the contractions were painful, but I could tell things were real then.

The drugs were awesome, from then Joni didn't feel as much pain but there is always the pressure. We got used to the consistency of contraction, and Joni started getting the "shakes" which is consistent with having epidurals and transitioning into larger dilation. At about 11pm the doctors told us that she was fully dilated and that as soon as she felt pressure she could push. In that moment I started to wonder if I was going to be able to help Joni or end up on the floor upon fainting. All of the waiting suddenly came to a point that we felt overwhelmed and underprepared. I found myself taking the same deep breaths as Joni so that we could both relax.

The pushing began at 11:15 and everything changed. I suddenly felt a confidence and I saw the same reaction in Joni's countenance after the first push. It was me, the nurse, and Joni in the room and we were doing three reps of pushes at the heighth of each contraction. After 45 minutes our little girl came out with eyes wide open. She was looking around at everything, and she kept them open until her eye drops were put in.

Now, a lot of people react differently when they see that baby for the first time. I've heard even the toughest guys tell me they balled their eyes out, but that just wasn't what I felt. Joni was so happy and crying, and all of my attention was on her telling her that she did it and how happy I was for her. I looked at the baby with wonder, what was she? how did she get there? how is she breathing? Is this all real? I could never have imagined what she looked like, and it threw me for a loop when I was finally looking right at her. There is a connection that mother's instantly have with their kids, it was amazing to see, and I knew Joni literally transformed in just a few seconds. For me, every time I hold our baby I feel more attached and I love her more and more, for Joni it was instantaneous.

Ellie Ryan was born at 12:02am, weighing in at 7lbs 5oz. To everyone else she probably looks like a baby, but to us she is so beautiful and unique. We are fans of her every move. Here are some pics in order of her short little life so far.

Her skin was so beautiful and clean right when she came out, this is just moments after she was born. Her feet aren't black, this was just the ink.

We ended up staying at the hospital for 4 days instead of the usual 2. Ellie had jaundice and had to be under the lights in the nursery for 3 days. We spent a lot of time waiting, talking, throwing sticky breast gel caps at the window to see how long they would stick, and holding the baby.

Ellie has opened up a part of our hearts that we didn't know existed and no words can define our feelings these last couple of days. We do know we never imagined being able to love anything this much...

We are happy to say that we are now home and happy to have a beautiful, healthy baby girl.