Enjoy some pics from the past month...and some thoughts
Free time evades our house since our little one arrived. No matter how many people try to give us advice and tell us what to expect with our first baby, no book, no movie, no class, and no experience can fully prepare a person for the first month of being a parent. We love Ellie, I can't stop giving her kisses, but Joni and I just feel so mentally and physically exhausted all the time. Those who have been through this like to say things like, "at least she doesn't do this...", "MY kids did this..." or "it will be better when...", but sometimes all you really want to hear is "I'm sorry, hang in there".I guess that's kind of how people are, we always seem to want to one-up each other instead of listening and offering support. I'm not referring to anything or anyone in particular, just something you think a lot about when you are struggling with a big change.
I'm not going to sugar coat anything and tell you that being a parent is a beautiful thing, because it doesn't feel that way all the time right now. But I will say that my favorite part of my day is when I come home and get to hold Ellie in my arms and just admire her every move. It's the little "moments" that she is so smiley that make every care in the world dissapear. It's tough to realize how selfish I am and how much I feel like I'm deprived of things I used to enjoy. It's so easy to get frustrated and upset at the littlest things just because I am tired. What I'm trying to say is that the hardest adjustment to being a new dad for me is realizing that someone else is far more important than me in this world. A marraige is a two person game, and you give and take to help each other survive, parenting feels like its all give and you are completely responsible for the survival of another human being.
Will this ever change? I don't know. My gut tells me that the feelings will never change, I see the concern my parents still have for me, and I've seen their tired faces when I've worn them down. I know they still love me despite what I put them through because I couldn't ever imagine not loving our little girl despite the way my body feels right now.
I still cringe when people try to say how perfect their lives are and how much they love being a parent, but I definately think I'm beginning to understand why they feel that way, because the "little" joyful moments make us dilusional and make all the tough times magically dissapear (I was able to finish that sentence because Ellie is sleeping right now).
She had her first doctor's appt today...here are the stats:
22" (50th percentile)
10 lbs (75th percentile)
and small little head (10th percentile)
The small head coming from my family is a feat alone, Joni would say its a miracle. Joni says she looks like me, but I'm still not sure. Maybe its because we share the same hairline and double chin, poor little girl lost all the hair on top of her head last week.
12 comments:
She's really cute! I can't imagine trying to function in my normal life AND have a kid. I can barely take care of myself. I would tell you to hang in there because it gets better, but what do I know about it?
Great post! I think every new or not new parent can totally relate to everything you said.
I remember at Carter's baby blessing when I got up to bare my testimony. After I sat down I felt like a loser but totally said exactly what was on my mind......it's hard work! I was lucky to have my older sister, who did it just nine months before me, that I could get some guidance from or give some venting to.
She's very cute and I really can't tell who she looks like. But every single smile picture makes us smile here! Thanks for sharing.
I've TOTALLY been there. Sorry it's rough. Maybe you don't want to hear it but for me, it got a lot better, and I think it will for you guys too. Gotta love those beautiful moments! She's cute!
Those are precious pictures of an adorable baby girl. It's amazing how a person so small can grow and change so fast. They learn so quickly. Every moment is special. I can relate to the feeling of a husband who loves his wife and is used to having her all to himself. Then along comes a child and dad is important as a helper, and loves the child, but there's a little sadness in the change that distances you some from your wife.
Please keep sharing your feelings. We are so very proud of you both and thrilled to have baby Ellie in our world with us. Look forward to see you all soon.
Love, Dad
That's it, no kids for me. :)
Thanks for the post, I appreciate your honesty. It's rare and something that I think is needed. Especially on blogs and facebook, it seems like there's so much "presenting" of our lives, but sometimes not enough of the real stuff. We all have struggles and feel frustrated and exhausted and overwhelmed...though I don't pretend it's anything like being a new parent...and I for one feel much better when others are willing to share their real lives.
Hope you're having a good weekend, and getting a little rest!
Miss you guys.
Erin
Yup - honesty is priceless and I appreciate it too! I really love every new picture we get of her and of you guys.
-Melecia
Nice blog Paul. I'm sure I'll be going through similar feelings once again soon enough. I remember feeling exhausted, on the edge and totally stressed out. I still go there on occasion now. It makes me laugh to think about how edgy I was.
Glen
What can I say, Paul and Joni, except remember as much of it as you can, because it will all too soon be gone. I'm sure God made babies so darling and cute and helpless so they'd be completely wrapped around our heartstrings BEFORE we have a chance to think of how tired we are and how destroyed our neat little schedules have become. What's that saying? - - "I didn't say it would be easy; I said it would be worth it." I think that's it, in a nutshell. Meanwhile, know that we all love you, and steal a catnap or two when you can.
Always,
Mom
P. S. Thanks for the adorable photos. They prove my point about the "worth it" part, don't they??
:)
Oh ya those first few months are truly... hard. Scott and I are not looking forward to those first few months with this next one. When people say they wish babies could come out six months old, oh man I couldn't agree more. But on the other hand I would never want to miss that sweet newborn stage... What a contradiction sorry, but there is no way to explain it.. Well good luck you two and She really is adorable I wish I could meet her!
Post a Comment