Reese Marie

Last week I wrote down some of my personal thoughts and feelings about Reese's first week while they were still fresh on my mind. It truly was a week that we will always remember.

Monday morning the 23rd we drove to the hospital for Joni to be induced. As we were driving in we got hit with a huge rainstorm, the first drop of rain we've had for months. As we were driving and listening to the radio the hosts were talking about rainbows and how truly rare they are to see, they said 1 in every 100 rainstorms has a rainbow and that they only show up when sunlight is at a perfect angle during dusk or dawn. Don't know why I remembered that but these are my thoughts again so feel free to stop reading if you are anti-rainbows.

We got into our room and got settled, we had a beautiful view of Carson City (sounds like an oxy moron) and the Sierra Nevadas. Within the first couple of hours we saw a perfect double rainbow where we could literally see the end of it right in front of the hospital and then go up the mountainside. We felt good and felt watched over. The epidural didn't hurt Joni at all like it did last time, and by 1pm she was about ready to push. At 1:54pm we welcomed Reese Marie into the world. She came out eyes closed and mouth wide, ready to eat or scream or...something. It took a good 10 seconds for that first scream but it came. She is long and skinny, 20 1/2" and 7 lbs 1oz. She has long feet and toes, hardly any hair, and she's strawberry blonde. We left the hospital within 24 hours to head home.

Ellie was so sweet, from the first second she saw her she started giving Reese hugs and kisses and kept asking to hold her and give her more kisses. We were worried about how she would react, but she was a doll and couldn't have been more sweet. Joni's milk still hadn't come in the first couple of days so we tried some Fenugreek to get something going, we had formula in the meantime just in case it was needed.

That night I started coming down with something. I thought I was just tired but when I took a bite of a sandwich and immediately threw up I knew something was wrong. I felt horrible and hoped that whatever I had wouldn't be passed on, so I checked myself into a hotel and just laid there in the dark for hours. Joni called me at 4am to tell me Reese hadn't eaten in 24 hours and that she was very pale and lethargic. We took her into the emergency room and hoped for the best.

Hosptials are special places but emergency rooms are the exception, we wanted to get out of there as soon as we could. They conducted so many tests and poor Reese got stuck with more needles than most people do in a lifetime. I had to watch her get a spinal tap, she even passed out halfway through it, then came back and commenced screaming again. In that moment I wished so bad I could switch her places, I felt upset but also closer to Heavenly Father than ever before, as I imagined him going through even more pain watching his Son suffer. I prayed so hard that the Dr. and nurses hands would be guided. When they screwed up and couldn't get anything I felt that my prayer was in vain, and I just wanted it all to end. They still couldn't figure out what was wrong with her but because of some sores and ulcers in her mouth they admitted her to the Pediatric Ward for observation and to await results of the tests. That Dr. had done hundreds of spinal taps and he was just perplexed and annoyed that he couldn't get in where he needed to.

Because her billyrubin count has high, Reese was put under lights and kept on the IV. She did finally eat something but she just couldn't keep her eyes open more than a few seconds at a time. I went home to get some things and spend time with Ellie once Joni and baby were settled. When I was driving back to the hospital I felt an empty pit in my stomach like something was wrong. I didn't like the feeling but I couldn't do anything to shake it. When I got to the hospital and saw Joni alone and pale I knew something was wrong. Reese had gone in for another spinal tap, this time with a more "expert" doctor. She was gone for a while and I dind't feel there was anything I could do to console Joni because I didn't feel right. Again I prayed hard that she would "come back to us" and that "everything would be okay".

The Dr. finally came in and said despite her and another Dr's attempts, they couldn't get in to get what they needed for the test. I asked them if they would do it again and she said "no, they don't torture babies here." She said, "I have done this so many times and this never happens, I was RIGHT THERE, the nurse even saw that I was RIGHT THERE but I couldn't get in". Just like the other Dr. she was flustered and didn't have any answers, she felt it might be because Reese was dehydrated but she had already been on an IV for 9 hours. I immediately felt comfirmation that they weren't supposed to get in. I realized my prayer from the emergency room was answered perfectly, just not how I expected it to be. With all the risks that come with a spinal tap, it wasn't supposed to happen.

I felt something so powerful in that moment, I realized that Reese truly was protected and blessed. I could actually feel all of the thoughts and prayers come together at once. So many people have been so thoughtful in thinking of us, I know her name was dropped in several temples, and prayer circles from friends of other faiths, and even people I didn't think that prayed were praying for her. To even think about how understanding Ellie has been through all of this has been amazing. From that moment we felt peace and comfort, and I have so many people to thank for that. We will never fully understand what she was protected from, but I know that we won't be able to forget the feelings we had in those moments of need. I had a similar feeling once as a missionary when the whole Stake prayed at the same time for the missionaries at 9pm every night. The feeling was difficult to explain, but there is a power in prayer.

Reese ended up being in the hospital for 7 days. She went through many more needle pokes, blood tests, throat cultures, antibiotics and antivirals, and even a CT scan. Her IV leaked and the needle was bent so they had to replace it but couldn't get into a vein, they finally put the IV in her scalp. We were never told what she had but by process of elimination we were finally cleared to come home, it was exhausting to say the least, for everyone including Reese.

We are happy to finally be home with our little family of four. Thank you all so much for your thoughts and prayers, meals, grandma helpers around the house, and just for your support even from afar.Here's hoping for a less eventful week this week, we love you Reese.