I had no idea

I found out two things about Joni this last week that I might never have known if I hadn't slept light for some reason. I always sleep like a log and nothing can wake me up until I am ready to wake up...unless I really have to go to the bathroom of course. Before you start worrying about me having bladder problems, I have been drinking an obscene amount of water lately as well as eating like a champ so that my mom doesn't tell me I look like I am sickly...after I had the worst flu I can remember having in years on Christmas. Anyways, so I found out that Joni sticks her ice cold feet on my back while I am asleep. While I am thinking this could be the most cruel thing I have been unaware of since we have been married, all of you women out there are probably thinking...yeah, so?. Cold hands and feet on back is a practice that needs to stop. I bought Joni these really cool instant warming packets a couple of Christmas' ago that have been used once or twice and are now in our drawer of memories and trinckets that we never open. I have learned that women experience cold hands and feet because of something to do with all of the blood flowing in or around the abdominal region so as to be ready for childbirth...don't think I didn't do research before making accustations. So naturally I feel bad for women in this sense, although I am still curious how that makes it normal to place your apendages in screaming hot water in the sink. Are women blessed with a tolerance to heat and an intolerance to cold? If I recieve 2nd degree burns from using the sink after a female uses it, am I the one with problems? Which brings me to why women have to use body heat to warm themselves up. I am definately not warmer than the water that comes out of that sink, so what is it that makes me a likely candidate to put a stop to cold hands and feet? Then if I don't succomb to the death-cicles known as my wife's cold hands and feet, should I feel bad? Are her feet emotionally cold as well? When I yelp in shock like goofy from a disney movie, is that supposed to put a smile on my wife's face or should she feel bad for the shivering and now pale body formerly known as her husband. Here is a question for all of the mom's, wives, daughters or whoever you are, why do you think you have so many little booty socks and slippers and things of that nature? hint: it has to do with men's intolerance for death-cicles. Think of what presents you have been given in the last couple of years...anyone?
On a more funny note, Joni talks and giggles in her sleep. I felt the kind of joy you feel when you figure out the meaning of life. I would have laughed harder if it wasn't 3am. For her sake, I hope that these two phenomenons are not related because if they are, then she is the devil.
Maybe that explains the realism to some of my "bone chilling" nightmares. Don't worry mom, I don't have nightmares.