Glen's little story about Carter getting into a pushing war made me reflect on fights I have been in throughout my life. I am sure I got into a lot of fights as a kid but the first one I remember I was on the playground in 3rd grade. We were playing wall ball and for some stupid reason I decided to call a sixth grader fat. This wasn't just because he was fat, because he was, but he always walked around bullying little kids and thinking he was cool. He didn't hear me call him fat, but my friend made sure to tell him because his older brother was friends with him. Anyways, up rolls Mr. fat 6th grader ready to pound my face in, I don't really remember a lot but I remember everything being in slow motion, I also remember a teacher standing right next to us with her tinted bifocles, poofy perm, and tan poofy trenchcoat who chose to turn her back on the whole thing. So I got punched in the face, I didn't move or flinch, and for some reason I don't even remember it hurting...maybe his fists had extra padding, maybe the adrenaline was flowing, maybe he didn't hit me full force...I don't know. All I know is that all of the kids in my class thought I was cool, and the girls started to notice too. I also distinctly remember hitting Matt Nappolilli in the face with my lunchbox because he teased me that I walked home from school with a girl. That wasn't the smartest thing to do because the kid owned his own chinese star and nun chuck collection, but I survived.
As I got older fighting wasn't the same anymore. The last fight I remember getting into, and the only real punch I ever threw, was in high school. We were playing football, and as competetive as boys are, I got in an argument with a neighbor kid and he kicked me, so I punched him in the face. It felt really good at the moment. But I felt horrible when his parents invited me over for pizza 30 minutes later. I can't believe I still went, and I don't even remember saying I was sorry, all I remember was how stupid and embarrassed I felt.
Fighting definately becomes more hurtful as we get older. I can't believe how mad I get sometimes at work or on the road when someone drives stupid. All it does is create a bad habit, then other people catch on to the negativity and it affects them too. I don't know how many times Joni has caught me getting upset over the littlest things, then I feel stupid. When driving home today an old man in a nice Jaguar pulled up next to me at the stop light. The funny thing was that he was on the wrong side of the road, but the double yellow lines were a little faded and hard to see. Sure enough a couple of cars followed his lead, and when the light turned green, there was a barrage of horns and poeple screaming at each other because they couldn't get through. The situation was a bit crazy and made a lot of people upset, but now I can look back on it and laugh at how absurd it was. You can't always change what other people do, but you can change what you do so that negativity doesn't get fed. I need to find a way to not get so easily upset, so that when a situation arises, whatever it may be, I can take something positive from it instead of feeling bad and embarrased afterwards for getting upset. Any suggestions? Physical activity is pretty good for me, but I don't always have time. What do you do when emotions bottle up at work or when someone cuts you off on the road? I am hungry...time to eat.
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
Fights
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13 comments:
1st to comment on my own blog, I just happened to be watching nbc nightly news about how happy people live on average 10 years longer. Nuns, for example, live so long because of this...low stress, happy and humble lives, something to think about.
I'm a prett laid back guy. But when I get mad, I really boil over... I'm sure you've all seen that before. The guys at work ask me all the time why I'm not mad about this thing or that. Frankly, it's not worth stressing over the stuff they stress over. I think I'd move up the career ladder quicker if I chewed someone out about once a week like they do. But I'll probably live 5 years longer than them.
I haven't been in a fist fight since grade school... other than brother fights of course. I remember a good one against Marc Wood in 3rd grade. It sounds girly but we had each other by the hair and were head butting each other without letting go. After it was all over, I had big patches of hair falling out. It was all over a football game at recess. We'd make fun of the way Paul Shoemaker fought. He was a jock, but fought like a girl. He kicked more than anything else and that was a "girly" thing to do. I guess I can't talk because I was pulling a guy's hair.
I havn't had a fight since elementary school either...well except brothers like Glen said. In 2nd grade a kid in 4rd grade was trying to hit my friend and we double teamed him and ended up in the pricipals office all in tears. A few of those brother fights left me feeling pretty guilty and down like Paul described as well. Fighting stinks.
Road rage is an easy one to get caught up in. I've been annoyed several times, though not often to the point of anger.
A few years back I did a test for several months that helped me a lot. It was kind of an anti road rage thing. I went out of my way to be nice to everyone I could. Letting people in where I would not have at other times, waving to at least 20 strangers, never cutting in front, etc. It turned driving into kind of a game for me which was pretty fun. I forgot about being annoyed completely.
Wow - - I learned a lot about you boys! I guess Moms are the last to hear about fights, hmmmm?
Girls are a little different about fighting, I think. Generally, it's two-faced, back-stabbing kind of stuff that hurts emotionally rather than physically. No less harmful, really - - maybe more so, because it lasts longer and is more of an attack on a person's confidence.
With road rage: Once Jim started to get a little riled about someone cutting him off about 3 times, then nearly causing an accident two cars ahead. We began playing a game, making up all the reasons the guy might be doing that stuff - - Like, "I know - - his wife is lying in the back seat ready to deliver, and he's trying to get her to a hospital." or "He just his job and is late to an interview for the only job in the area he really wants." Doesn't make his driving any safer, but does keep it from involving you.
Have you noticed that aggressive young males are often in big pick-ups,aggressive older males are often in luxury-type sedans or sports cars, and aggressive women are often in "hot"cars - - color or power wise?
I find that working in HR you have to be the one with the cool head. You get calls every minute of every day about someone getting mad about some stupid thing, like a roll of toilet paper was left on someone's desk by accident. (btw, really happened.) I have found that I need to listen to the common sense advice that I dish out on a daily basis. "Talk to the person...let it go...it was a misunderstanding..." I find that you just need a good listening ear, someone who doesn't mind the venting. Then it's easy to think or a rational solution rather than doing things out of anger that you will regret.
If you end up in a company where you are the only HR person, or the HR boss, definitely join the local HR chapter of SHRM, that way you can share your HR woes.
When I was in fourth grade, a friend made me really mad, and I said "GO TO HELL!" in front of her, the teacher, and the whole room. I ran out crying, then came back, and the teacher asked, "Melecia, did you tell Danna to 'Go to hell?' I lied with indignant pride "NO!" Everyone knew I was lying through my teeth. Never was in any girl fights - I always worked really hard for my friends to get along and feel good.
I am good at bottling up things too Paul and then "exploding". I hate to explode - I think the secret for me is to decompress a little at a time, and exercise for me is really important! Of course being the only family memeber on meds helps too(hee hee) Love Ya!
-Melecia
I remember getting into a fight when I was about 12 years old. I had taken the bus to the old Deseret Gym in SL and went swimming alone. There were two boys my age that wanted to race. We went two lengths, and I won the race. After coming out of the gym and walking beside the church office building both boys were mad and were waiting for me. They started swinging at me from two sides. I got in some really good blows, but they were persistent. Some man that looked like a general authority stopped the fight and told us two against one was not fair. I've learned the best thing to keep people from fighting is to take time out, and when cooled off, get back together, discuss the issue, and make peace with each other. Some people just don't know how to not fight. Love, Dad
I thought that fight was against a couple of kids that were a lot younger than you, or was that something else?
Paul:
You know how Dad and "fish stories" go....
*wink*
Yes, they were younger by about a year, but the same size. Fish stories? Steve: Do I have to come back up there AGAIN and beat up you and your little girls (that are just a little smaller than me? Dad
Paul: We'll be leaving for Dallas in about thirty minutes. If you want to continue the demonstration of my great fighting powers, (you are younger too), I'll be happy to oblige. Love, Dad
Dad's talking a pretty big game. I remember hearing "you play to rough" many times in wrestling matches growing up. Dad stopped wanting to wrestle much after I turned 12.
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