I woke up this morning to POURING rain, I seriously thought the bathtub was on and I was wondering why, since Joni was already gone to work. Then I realized I would have to ride my bike through it to get to school because after looking for the umbrella for an hour, walking wasn't an option (I found out later that Joni had both umbrellas in her car). I figured if I pedaled fast enough, I wouldn't get as wet...not true. I'm not sure how the aerodynamics of bike seat's work (Sean do you?), but the faster you pedal the more water channels from the tire up to the seat, right into your butt. Then the wind and rain soaked right through my sweatshirt and my jeans. This is my LONG day in class, so I sat in wet clothes all day long. Funny how your "outer wear" dries first, then your underwear dries last, and it's very uncomfortable. The coolest thing is...thats not one of the funny stories.
STORY #1
The other night Joni and I went out to share an appetizer and some drinks, which is a great thing to do if you want to go out but you are strapped for cash. Joni talked me into it because the place we went to had 36 tv's, including 8 big screens. Anyways, I went to the bathroom while Joni ordered drinks. When I came back she told me she was excited because she had never really ordered a lemonade before, and she had just ordered a blackberry one (you have to know Joni to understand how much she loves new foods and drinks). After a while Joni commented about how wierd her drink tasted, but I didn't think anything of it until she told me it tasted "bitter". By then her giant glass was empty, and when I asked her where she found the drink on the menu and she told me the "specialty drinks menu", I put the two and two together. When I read, "Jack black rasberry lemonade with Jack Daniels Whiskey and rasberry liquor with sprite" I about tossed my cookies because of how hard I was laughing. The expression on her face was priceless, she wouldn't even let me post the story (happened two weeks ago) because of how bad she felt. Of course I drove home, and of course Joni will never hear the end of that one from me.
STORY #2
In case you didn't know, Dilly sleeps in our bed. I hate it sometimes because I toss and turn a lot, and even though she always starts on Joni's side, she always ends up finding her way under my blanket into some wierd spot so I can't move without feeling bad for smooshing her. I guess one night she had enough of me moving around and she found her way right into the rear end of Joni's pants...hang on, I'm laughing and can't type very well...okay. She literally crawled into Joni's pants and was happily nessled up against her bare bottom (how Joni didn't wake up I have no idea). Joni didn't even notice until she got up and the back of her pants felt really heavy. Sure enough, Dilly was in there happy as a clam. In case you are wondering, these two things didn't happen on the same night...although it would make a lot more sense.
So that's the way things have been for us lately. I'm so glad things like this happen so that we can enjoy wierd moments during times that seem tough. I'm not trying to start a weekly motivational column, but that made me think of another quote my Grandpa Don sent me in that same letter I got on the last day of my mission:
"I will laugh at the world...I will always have great joy in my heart. No living creature except man can laugh or even smile, and yet a man who can't smile is not much worse off than one who doesn't smile. The emotion behind a smile is a fine medicine for the soul. It has an untold value".
Monday, March 3, 2008
2 Funny stories
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12 comments:
Paul. Those stories are priceless!
I laughed until it hurt. I loved the quote about laughter; it's the best therapy there is. I feel for your wet day. We had a few of those in the mission field when we rode bikes in the rain. I know
Steve was CONSTANTLY riding in the rain on his mission to the state of Washington, and even broke his arm while on his bike. Keep those stories as treasures in your personal history. Love and hugs to you both from Dad and Daisy who is purring while perched on my shoulders.
I have to say, the stories, awesome. As much as I loved to read them, they were even more fun live!!
As for the aerodynamics of bicycle seats, it a problem with the tires, not the seats. You see, water adheres to your tires as you ride. Now, that water will come off, if enough force is exerted on the water, either by gravity if you are going slow or by centripedal force(most people think this is centrifugal force) if your wheels are turning quickly. So, the faster you go, the more force is placed on the water as it is flung from your tires, and it ends up shooting forward. If you slow down a bit, it will only shoot up, and if you slow down more it will shoot back, and a little up.
Now, the best way to solve the problem is actually quite simple, get different tires. If you get road style tires, the lack of tread actually picks up less water, and hence throws less at your butt. Plus your overall biking speed will increase by about 3-5 mph.
And if you would like, you can bring your bike over, and we will switch the tires, and tune the beast up, which I am sure it needs after a semester and a half, not to mention the rain.
The whole lemonade story sounds a little suspicious to me. Are you sure Joni didn't know what she was getting? I know from cowboy movies that whiskey is the hard stuff.
I actually made a similar mistake at a natural food trade show. I slammed down about 5 "smoothies". They actually tasted really good which was why I drank five. Then two of my office saw what I was doing and broke it to me that they were spiked with rum. They though it was pretty funny to see a Mormon get fooled like that. -Glen
Sean- How did I know you would have an explanation for my butt getting wet? Ya big nerd.
Glen- I heard about that, its pretty funny, I bet most guys go to those shows for the "smoothies".
Some friends of ours invited us over for Thanksgiving dinner last year and served Martinelli's. I always thought Martinelli's was non-alchoholic, so I gulped down my glass thinking it just tasted wierd...I kept smelling antiseptic type smells. Joni actually told me after we left that everyone was looking at me funny. Oh well, I got a nice buzz and had a pretty fun time after that...just kidding, but I would have with another glass.
I am glad Joni finally gave you permission to share that story with everyone....it's way to funny to not.
I really can't understand how she didn't taste the alcohol in it?
It sounds like Joni would make a great bed partner...I am not quite sure either one of you should share a bed with your future children though, even though I don't think you should anyway but you know how this Moore family works. I am proud to say we no longer have little bed partners anymore though. I would worry that you would roll on top of one of them and Joni wouldn't wake up if they were crying.....maybe you should stay away from having children.:)
HOW FUNNY! I am sorry Joni, but those are stories that I can TOTALLY picture happening to you. I can picture your facial expressions and everything. I am SO glad that Paul posted them. Thanks for the laugh. I needed it.
Okay Paul those stories are great...the only thing I kept thinking as I was reading is...you take the girl out of Utah and look what happens!!! That's a great story that I'm sure will come in handy for game nights for years to come!!!
Funny stories!
Susan
loved the stories guys!
-Melecia
That was awesome. I had to go to the bathroom halfway through reading that stuff, but didn't want to stop (not a good combo when you're laughing really hard. Was Joni feeling the lemonade? I can't imagine it not affecting her with how small she is and all.
Funny, funny, funny!!!! My mind's eye is trying to form pictures of Joni's big-eyed innocent look as she sizes up a half-empty "jack black," - - - -and then her jammies dragging with the extra Dilly weight. Awesome! Did you get any "real" photos?
The rain story sounds awful - - especially having to sit in wet clothing all day. UGH! Since Joni was the one who made the umbrellas "unavailable," I guess your stories were a little bit of fun "payback," hmmmm?
(and I did laugh at Sean and his detailed explanation. I know he's not an engineer, but the detail sounds terribly "engineerish!")
Love you lots.
Mom
Yes, I'm laughing out loud right now. Good job on the drink Joni! I had the same thing happen to me in Mexico... it made me feel tingly all over... However, I don't know what to tell you about the dog in your pants; haven't experienced that one before!
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