Week 5:

That sounds like I'm celebrating being sober or something. I think after a little over a month of being "on my own" I'm starting to think there is a lot about my situation that is good that I am trying to take advantage of. The biggest thing is that I have time to do things I normally wouldn't make the time to do. I have been really steady on the working out front, I've actually lost a couple pounds (my pants are actually looser) and I'm running more than ever. There is a gym at my work, and I have become addicted to working out during lunch and then showering there. It is the best feeling ever to do that in the middle of a work day, and the best solution for me to get it done. The first couple of weeks here I spent a lot of time moping around and watching TV, and that really didn't help me to feel better. I have been eating really well (for me anyways), and doing everything I can to feel good about myself.

I live right next to a Barnes and Noble and so the other day while it was pouring rain I went over there and listened to music. I ended up buying a BB King and and Oscar Peterson CD and listened to them in my truck while it was pouring outside. I bought a cheap set of golf clubs on ebay and when they get here I am going to go to the driving range and try to teach myself how to golf. I'm playing the guitar again, I'm going to bed early, and reading about random stuff on the internet like I used to do as a kid looking through the World Book Encyclopedias we had at home. I guess the reason I'm mentioning all this is because habit is a powerful thing. You don't have to always do spectacular things in life to be happy, but whatever you choose to do, make sure that it makes you feel good. The best way to kick a bad habit is to fill its time slot with a good one.

Habits give your life direction, but only good habits lead you in the right direction. I have found that I enjoy being busy more than I enjoy being lazy and I guess thats a good thing. I've always beat myself up mentally when I waste my time being lazy and forming bad habits, but for the first time I'm realizing that it doesn't help to beat yourself up...just move on and do something different. Since doing that I have been laughing out loud a lot more, and my outlook has been more positive. The other night I was watching Mr. Bean and I was laughing so hard I was choking...and yes, I was by myself. So can there be some good in every situation? I definately think so.

So now that I feel like Doogie Howser, I'm going to go shave my head and watch the Bachelorette. And I don't even care what anyone thinks because that's what I want to do.