karma

When I was a kid I remember hating church...maybe I only remember the times that I can recall throwing a fit, or never wanting to give a talk in primary (mom you'll have to enlighten me on that one), but I don't remember being the good little kid that loved to go to primary. I still remember Bro. Hand when I was in the CTR class because when I didn't pay attention he would squeeze my hand REALLY hard until I about cried. Another teacher in a different year came to our house to speak with my parents about how disruptive I was in class, I don't remember being that way but I guess I had to have been pretty bad. Then there was the traumitizing baby sitter and pre-school stories that Joel and I still remember to this day. I can never tell that story enough when our family left us for Mexico and the lazy babysitters made us eat water with our cereal, and Joel thought he was going to die of an ear infection and the babysitter told him to quit crying. In pre-school, Mrs. Jenkins asked me what kind of sandwich I wanted for lunch and of course I wanted PBJ like all of the other kids, but she said I had to eat a bologna sandwich or I couldn't go play outside with the other kids. I remember being strong enough to sit there at the table until Mrs. Jenkins left the kitchen...I threw the sandwich away and bolted upstairs to hide under the sink until my mom came to pick me up. Every time we went to her house to eat after that I refused to eat anything she made...she probably thought I was a spoiled little brat but I remember feeling triumphant that I stood my ground.
So maybe now you ask whats the point of bringing up all of the childhood trauma? Yesterday Joni and I were called to teach in the primary. We are actually pretty excited about it, but I can't help but wonder if God has a sense of humor and this is payback time. We don't know what age we will teach yet, but we will definately be sailing on uncharted waters this time. God really does have a sense of humor because after all those years of picky eating, not only did I serve a mission in which I had to try almost everything imaginable, but I married a dietician. So whatever it is that you think you may be getting away with in your life right now, just remember that someday karma will come back to get you...I have been watching way too many "My Name is Earl" rereuns lately. In the end, who knows, it may be the best calling I have ever had, at least I know marrying a dietician has worked out pretty good so far.

conversation

Word of warning: this may be a very confusing blog. Joni and I are very bored and it is midnight on a Friday night so we are going to try and have a conversation. I am the blue writing and Joni is the green. If this is as stupid as I think it will be, it should not be read...but we thought it would be fun to type to each other instead of talking (Joni just made that rule)...we are super nerds and not on any type of drug.

Hey Paul, what is your favorite slurpee flavor?
I definately like coke slurpees with a little bit of cherry flavor on the top, I hate mountain dew slurpees. I like slurpees...you want to go get a slurpee?
Um no Paul - remember how we just got back from 7-11 5 minutes ago and you bought a snickers icecream bar and I got chocolate? What is your favorite movie with an animal as the main star?
That is a VERY good question Joni (we don't usually say each others names like that every time but I feel like I am on stage right now). I remember lots of movies that my dad used to rent about dogs. I wonder if I was a kid growing up these days if I would like Air Bud...I used to like "Benji" and "Digby". I like lots of movies with animals...horses and stuff. What about you?
I'm not sure I've ever made it all the way through one. Does Gremlins count? Or Critters? Critters was scary.
Maybe like animal sci-fi, but not "animal". I remember when I watched "The Horse Whisperer" I lost 4 pints of blood from a bleeding ulcer, it made me not like that movie very much. What if that was the last movie I saw before I died?
Hmmm thats no fun to think about - how 'bout another question. What's your favorite skittle combo (choose 2).
I don't eat as many skittles to know what each one tastes like. I think I cram a bunch in my mouth. I could never eat one at a time unless I ate a whole bag and there was nothing else to do. This is a hard game. What smell do you like/dislike the most?
Oh good one! LIKE: After rain, oven smells like bread, apples.
DISLIKES: glue, dog breath, Gas passed from complete strangers in a line, gas that smells like food, any part of a group of single guys' house/kitchen/bathroom, vomit, used floss (at the dentist office where I worked and had to throw that stuff away - sick), coffee breath, and mechanic shops.
lol, maybe I should stick to yes/no questions. You'd think we would do really well at one of those newlywed games because our conversations are seriously like this, but I will have forgotten all of this by tomorrow night. Then Joni will ask me a month later what her favorite skittle combination was, and if I don't know, I will be in trouble.
Oh, and sweaty feet. But seriously about the skittles - red and anything (but orange) is great. And ANY three colors are good.
Sweaty feet is a good one, but what about sweaty feet with dirty bum? Sometimes when I am sitting at the computer after work and I take my socks off, mixed with my after lunch smells, I think I could pass out. What if it was someone else? I would die I think.
Okay, I think we could have all gone without hearing that. I still love ya though - stinky socks and all. Remember last week when I teasingly threw my post-run sock your direction and it hit you in the face? Sorry.
Yeah that was pretty mean until I got you back with my socks...I win. What has been your favorite thing about Dallas?
Definately the veiw of the city when I turn the last corner headed to work. The trees clear and all the sudden you see all the tall buildings reflecting the morning sun. That and the brownie parfait at Baylor cafeteria. What about you?
I love the food.
Yeah, food.
lots to choose from
I bet no one makes it this far into the blog. Lets be done soon if you want.
What are you saying you don't want to talk to me anymore? because I could just leave and go to bed if that would make you happy. Would that make you happy?
I think this is a trick question - but I am tired so I'm going to sleep - I get to sleep in tomorrow. Yesssss.
Hey everyone! Joni sleeps with a teddy bear and he has a name. She also has a little baby blanket that she sleeps with...If you just saw Joni's reaction you'd think I am sleeping on the couch tonight.
No comment - I like my bear.
Isn't that a comment?
ah crap.

Wacky weather...wacky thoughts

Yesterday the craziest thing happened. At 4 o'clock it was 88 degrees, 3 hours later it was in the low fifties...talk about your cold front. I guess it isn't that wierd because Logan used to do that a lot too. Come to think of it that isn't very wierd at all, sorry everyone. I guess I am used to the nights not cooling off and now that it finally cooled off at night it has been really wierd. Joni's sister Andrea got here last night to visit for a couple of days, I am starting to think that weather follows some people wherever they go. The cold front is supposed to be here until Sunday when Andrea leaves, then go back to normal...wierd. You can only imagine how people around here were freaking out, you would have thought it was the end of the world...just with everyone wearing beanies and coats instead of burning and dying...that was an inside thought.

Have any of you ever started writing a blog or anything for that matter and then you realize that you don't know why you are even writing and then you want to erase everything and forget about it? I wish sometimes that there was no such thing as backspace or delete so that you could know exactly what people are thinking without having thier writing edited. I bet there are some pretty funny love letters out there that were thrown away before the "real deal" came out. Joni wishes she knew poeple's thoughts sometimes just to hear some of the funny things they think that no one knows about. Ever since I have known Joni she always asks me what I was thinking about at the most random times. At first I didn't like it because I am a private person and sometimes I like to keep thoughts private, but then I started saying some of the thoughts out loud when she asked and it was really funny to hear from another person's perspective how random you can be. Come to think of it, I think everyone should say what they really think more often. It might be kind of scary at first but it actually feels very liberating sometimes. It's also a good way to offend people but hey...no one is perfect. It is funny too how certain thoughts are repeated more often than others. I found out that I think a lot about different super powers. I came to the conclusion that having the power to transport anywhere at anytime with anyone is a pretty tough one to beat. Believe me I have thought this one through a lot...try to beat it. Flying could be cool but what about when you don't want to travel? And what if it was cold? it is COLDER up in the air. I guess that is why I like Joni's sister Andrea, being around her reminds me how funny it is to other people when you speak your initial thoughts out loud. I was trying to post a picture of them but for some reason it won't work, so I apologize for another pictureless blog. I could change the color of the words like last time but it doesn't do the same thing. Maybe next time.

Got Insurance?

First of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY Freddy Mike today and Joel yesterday. I would have sent you a present dad but the money you sent me for my birthday was used towards the postage for your card I sent this morning. I feel bad because I really don't know everyone's birthdays aside from my brothers and sisters...but I don't feel so bad because you probably don't know mine, if you do then I am truly sorry for forgetting. One of my old high school buddies called me to wish me a happy birthday a couple of birthday's ago, and I felt cool that he remembered but then I felt bad that I didn't know his. But then again that was the only time he called in five years so maybe he has birthday touretts syndrome...that was mean.

I wanted to let everyone in on a secret...Utah drivers are no longer considered the worst drivers in history (by Joni and I anyways). Dallas drivers are by FAR the worst drivers I have EVER seen. Even the cops speed and swerve around without using their blinkers. In Utah a yellow light means speed up before it gets red, in Dallas a yellow light means, "oh pretty honey, the light is changing colors", and red means," is it already that close to Christmas?" I think if the language barrier is so bad that you can't read a stop sign then there is a huge problem...and a LARGE percentage of the population is not insured, nor has ever even heard of driver's ed. I think the general consensus here is that if you can reach the pedals, or have previous experience driving a tractor of some sort (including lawn mowers), then you are good for the road. I can't remember but don't you need a drivers license to get you car registered or have insurance? Well not here, I think drivers licenses here are so that when someone finds you on the side of the road, they know that it is truly YOUR wallet they have in thier hands and where to drop you off in case you are hurt. I don't want to share any personal experiences for fear of scaring any small children from coming here, but it is unbelievable how dangerous some people can be behind the wheel. Maybe I am getting old and cranky behind the wheel and I just never noticed it before...nope, thats not it. Speaking of stupid drivers, Joni's brother had someone crash a truck into thier family room a couple of months ago, so maybe I am not the one to complain about bad drivers.

I still remember the first time I drove, I was two or three years old. Somehow I got the car started and going backwards with the doors locked. I was having fun until I saw the look on my brother's face as he was banging on the window telling me to stop. I ended up driving through the garden right into the horse pasture fence. The best thing about the whole ordeal was that we had a perfect little hole in the fence afterwards that we could walk through without the horses getting out. I think I just figured out the whole bad driver thing here...Nascar is HUGE down here, and that explains everyone sitting on thier front porches. I can hear the guy in his rocking chair now, "look Clive, here comes that crazy lawyer in his fancy car again...woooooo!"

Aside from everything I seem to complain about and joke about all of the time, Dallas is a pretty fun place. There are no plans to stay here long term by any means, but I think I am feeling a bit more at home now instead of like I am on some extended vacation.

Downtown

Yesterday Joni and I decided to go downtown and walk around for fun. Dallas is an interesting city, it is VERY quiet. It made me realize how incredibly unique New York City is. I remember Chicago being similar to Dallas but with a lot more history and taxi cabs. There are quite a few tall buildings but all in all, it is like a ghost town because nobody was outside. There is a cool historic west end that we want to check out sometime, lots of restaraunts and clubs that are only open at night. I noticed there is a whole block dedicated to the baptsit church, kind of like temple square but not even close to as pretty. They have a neon sign and a huge conference center where I imagine they have thier televised broadcasts every week. I was watching one for fun the other day on my lunch break and this big black guy was yelling and screaming with sweat pouring down his face, babbling in an unknown language and everyone was dancing around an crying...to be honest it was kind of creepy.

Our favorite place so far has been the grassy knoll, we took some pictures a while back but they didn't turn out, so we did a "drive by" yesterday but the pictures aren't posting, I'll try again later. I really want to go the museums around that area too. The cool thing about the grassy knoll is that there is no monument to commemorate President Kennedy, all there is is a sign saying that this spot has historical significance, and there are two X's painted on the street where the President was shot. The 6th floor window of the book depository is still open and the building is now a museum. The interesting thing is that no one around here ever mentions this spot, probably not something Texans want to be proud of. There are no directions to get there, it just popped up out of nowhere when we first got here and the only reason I knew what it was is because I recognized it from all of my studying in history about that time period. Sorry everyone, I guess the boring history buff slipped out of me for this blog...maybe I should give him a name like Glen does with his sleep walking alter ego...nah.

The book depository building

Dallas World Aquarium...and something in my mouth.

Monday

I found something to do now during the days when I work night shifts and Joni is gone to work...at least temporarily. Joni and I rented the show "My Name is Earl", it could definately be up there with one of my favorite shows now. It is on right before "the Office" so I always catch the end of it but I never really saw the whole show. I was laughing so hard by myself that I would start coughing...maybe I am getting sick...I don't know. Maybe the show just hits so close to home since we are in Texas but who knows, it's really funny. Laughing really is the best medicine sometimes. Last night Joni and I went to Walmart to buy some "safe tread" shoes for her work, we ended up taking almost an hour to get there because of the rediculous freeway traffic at all hours in this city, but it was fun because we had some good conversations on the way there. Joni is a pretty funny and goofy girl, her personality along with her genuine kindness and regard to everyones feelings is what really drew me to her. Its funny how growing up the littlest things can influence you. I remember in fourth grade my mom picked me up from school and we gave a girl I kind of liked a ride on the way home. This girl ended up making fun of one of our neighbors because of some boots that she wore when she was fishing, I could tell my mom was just grinding her teeth...needless to say I stopped liking that girl pretty quick. I guess it's not really what you say sometimes, but how you say it.

I don't know if it was how we were raised or what, but I have never been able to understand people who pick on those who are different. For some reason I always felt a close bond to the kid who was picked on, or the kid who was different. I really feel for the first time in my life that I am headed in the right direction in my career, going into human resource management. It is funny how everything falls into place...I seriously picked it out one day because of a school counselor I was talking to, she gave me a magazine to read and told me that if I liked it, that I should look into hr as a career. So here I am, having never taken a class in human resource management, but I know it is what I want to do. I have been working a little bit each week learning the ropes with my hr manager just to get some experience and it is awesome to feel like I finally belong somewhere. I love the idea of playing "police" when the big shot business man tries to do something shady, or being that intermediary between the employee and the law, or hiring, interviewing and training new employees. I sound really boring but I think I found my little place and it feels good.

Utah State finally won behind a freshman quarterback who was the local high school hero last year, it takes someone from the Cache valley to understanad the lack of respect the football team has, and deservingly so, but maybe he can turn it around.

Broncos tonight! feel free to call me and update me even though I will be at work, and I don't have ESPN...I listen to messages. Even though it is Monday it is like my Friday today, tomorrow is my first day off from both jobs in about 4 weeks, then back to the grind.

ramen and meatballs

Just another midnight post. I get working so hard on my late shifts that when I get home it takes me awhile to settle down. Last night our friends Josh and Amanda stayed here with thier two little girls on thier way to Houston, where they will be living for a while. It is cool to not feel so alone out here in the "lone" star state...now we have freinds from Logan in Texas, even though they are still 4 hours away. I want to see how many people we can cram into our one bedroom apartment, so everyone is invited at a future date. Last night was the second night we actually "hung out" with another couple since moving here, the last time was when we had dinner with a girl in Joni's internship and her husband who is studying to be a baptist minister.

Anyways...I have been hearing about everyone deciding what they wanted to be for halloween and I am getting a bit jealous. The lion and the lamb ideas are already taken (I want to be the lamb, Joni can be the lion), my e-wok costume is long gone and probably too hot here anyways, I have already dressed up like a woman too many times so I can't do that anymore, and Meg already has dibs on the "queen of the devils", so I am squandering for ideas now. Last time Joni and I dressed up I was Zorro and she was my hot latin lady. I thought the mask would be a good diguise but everyone recognized me at the halloween dance. probably because Zorro couldn't hide his double chin, or his big goofy smile because he thought he was really Zorro. It was funny because I grew the real mustache and soul patch but I had to use mascara to make it look better, then every time we had our picture taken I couldn't keep a straight face...I can't smile like Zorro I guess. By the way, don't tell me to dress up like white trash because everyone around here will ask why I am not wearing a costume. Joni took me to a monster truck rally a couple years ago...I wore a camo Ford hat and a flanel with the sleeves cut off, and I bought Joni a "Gravedigger" shirt and we fit right in...we still have those costumes by the way. We are trying to keep them all so that we can have a chest full of costumes like I used to have as a kid, those were some good memories. So I have my own little recipe I want to share with everyone...healthy or not it is my new pre-bedtime snack (it actually sounds more like a meal than a snack). I cook ramen noodles, but instead of using the little packet for flavor, I drain the water and put the noodles in a frying pan and drench them in teriyaki(had to look in the fridge to spell it) sauce. Then I add my favorite little meatballs (from a bag) and thats it. You cook it just long enough until the noodles are sticky from the sauce. It works out great because Joni likes to drink the sauce packets I don't use as a broth, so everyone is happy. Just don't use too much teriyaki. I need a name for it now, just don't tell me ramen and meatballs because that is its temporary name until we think of something cooler.

the fair

Ever heard of fried coke? that's what I am popping into my mouth. It was actually pretty good. Coke flavored batter in coke syrup with whip cream and cinnamon. Joni got a fried snickers...some of the other fried choices were fried cheesecake, peanut butter and jelly with banana, oreos, pickles and many more. Joni and I decided to go to the Texas state fair this weekend to have some fun, it was the most gigantor fair I have ever been to. It was really fun but REALLY hot. 96 degree Texas heat when you are outside for over four hours is nuts. I don't remember fairs being as expensive as this one was, maybe it was because my mom always gave me money. We were really excited when we had a little book of coupons to do whatever we wanted with, until we realized that each ride was like 500 coupons a piece. We ended up going on the famous 215 foot ferris wheel and that was about it. We ended up getting a lot of exercise though from all of the walking...when it was all said and done, a fair is a fair anywhere you go...fun to experience until you remember when you told yourself last time you probably wouldn't go again. The fried stuff was definately the highlight.

View from the ferris wheel, the cotton bowl is off to the right. My "crazy" weekend turned out okay, I called in sick one day because Joni finally had a free weekend and I wanted to take advantage of the rare time we could spend together. It is funny calling in sick when you are not really sick, I hadn't done that since school days. I always feel like I owe a lot more to my work than I really do so it was good to fake it once. When in doubt, use the "I ate something bad" routine...it never fails.

It's late but I had to put this picture up. I was sitting in the lobby at Baylor waiting for a freind to carpool to a meeting and I had my camera in my purse. I got looking at old pictures and well... I thought I should share this gem.
- JONI

I want to pet a dolphin

Now I know I am addicted to this whole blog thing because I have been trying to think of when I would blog again with my crazy schedule the next couple of days, so I had to get one in now or else not write again for a few days. I am seriously improving as far as typing goes because of it...not that I am fast, but I am not a "two finger" typer anymore. I think it is healing to write sometimes. Speaking of healing, I think caffeine is my magic medicine. It probably sounds bad because caffeine is a drug of sorts, but every time I have an upset stomach or a headache, coke is better than any other medicine. I used to think my headaches would be caused from caffeine even though I never drank that much, so I didn't drink any for nine months...that didn't help at all, it actually made it worse. I think I inherited my mom's drug problem...that sounds kind of funny without an explanation. We are both so affected by any drug, even the smallest amount of pain killer from surgery or what not knocks us out. Not only that, but we can be highly entertaining to other people from the side effects (including large amounts of drool and dancing on hospital beds). I can vaguely remember coming out of surgery from my knee and I was just staring at people in the rooms next to me and giggling because I couldn't look away, then singing at the top of my lungs to Celine Dion in the car ride home.

So now I am TOTALLY awake because I drank a coke an hour before bed...at least I feel better.
I call Joni the "sixth sense" now because every time I walk into the kitchen after she has been there, all of the cupbards are left open...kind of creepy. I also have a very small bladder which my mom seems to have as well (you can already see what the smallest drug can do to my random thoughts). I can't drink any thing before a movie because without fail, I will have to go to the bathroom in the most important part of the movie. The worst was when I was watching the Lord of the Rings during the part near the end when the dam breaks and a huge flood ensues. I couldn't believe I held it...but I have to say I broke the world record for the longest time going to the bathroom. I don't mean to be graphic but two different people went to the bathroom in the urinals next to me, washed thier hands and left before I was done. Anyways, tomorrow I work one job from 7am to 1pm, then my other job from 2-11pm...then I do the same thing Saturday. I can handle the work, but I think it is the "mental"aspect of it all. I don't like being "controlled" every single day. I told my new boss today that I don't want to work the part time job more than 10 hours a week now, so once I get past these next few days it should be a lot better. Well, I have to go to the bathroom again, bye for now.

Tweny Seven

I was thinking the other day about life as a twenty seven year old and I got to thinking, it is a lot different than I thought it would be when I was a kid. I am not saying I am not happy with my life, because I am, it is just funny to try and remember a child's perspective on life. First of all, super belly button power doesn't really work...I used to swear by it as a kid. For those of you who don't know what that is, it was something we used to do (sticking a finger in your belly button then "shocking" the body into warp speed mode) to clean the house up in the fastest manner possible so that when the tv commercial break was over, you could get back to the show. Well, I tried it the other day and I ended up just sitting there the whole time...it's just not the same anymore...maybe when we have kids it will work again. Where did the fifteen million boxes of legos we had end up? I still get urges to play legos, and tear off all of my church clothes in the car on the way home so that I can be the first one "ready" and changed to play. It is harder to do that while driving now but I still try. I still remember wanting to own a cleaning business as a kid...how weird was I? What, did I really picture myself driving a ferrari around with all my 27 year old make believe friends after cleaning the house with all of the other maids? Who knows, it is still a possibility. Something crazy happened a few years ago when my dad was offered a cleaning business from a client, when he told me about it I got scared because my childhood dream could have come true, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to go there. Then I was a window washer for a couple of years...maybe I am destined for greatness in the cleaning business after all. Give me a few more years and I could be the new spokesperson for Mr. Clean (the bald guy with his ear pierced). So I guess some things are what I thought they would be too...I bet money that my dad still laughs like a donkey at the roadrunner and coyote show.

I still feel like I am destined to do something great, maybe everyone feels that way. Whether it is being on the Price is Right, getting a record in Guiness Book, making millions from an invention or business, not picking my nose anymore, or just being happy at home with family. Something I WILL do that I wanted to do as a kid is end up living near family. This whole Texas experience is fun, but I can't wait to end up somewhere near everyone. Let's all plan a place to end up because if you are reading this, I probably like you.

27 rounds up to 30!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAUL!!

This is my first post on our blog, I figured I should give Paul a break and write about stuff we did this weekend to celebrate. We had an early morning B-day party today because Paul decided he wanted cake for breakfast. I had to post the pics below because Paul was blowing frantically to put out all the candles and then he got really dizzy and had to lay down. Maybe that means we are getting a little old, who knows - but it made me laugh really hard.

Between Paul's 2 jobs and my work, studying and researching I feel like we are strangers some days. So I took the weekend off and we have done loads of cool stuff. Friday night we went to a movie and out to dinner. Saturday we played tennis all afternoon, went swimming, then out to dinner again at Duke's Roadhouse. This place seriously had a separate section for motorcycle parking, and Paul's chicken fried steak was twice as big as my face. We came home and watched Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, hilarious by the way. I had never seen it!

This morning after blowing out the B-day candles, Paul regained his stregth and is now watching The Beast Master (one of my fav movies when I was little) on Sci-Fi. This weekend seriously rules .

I really have had no reason to post this cartoon other than it mad me giggle a little.

So the other night I had this strange dream that my fingers were swelling uncontrollably. In the dream I got really worried that my ring finger would get severed if I didn't get my wedding ring off quickly so I pulled it off and held it in my hand. Well, about 4am I happened to wake up because I heard a little "clink" above my head. Then I realized my ring finger was empty. I had dropped the ring behind the head of the bed; it's a good thing I have become a light sleeper lately because we may not have found that thing until we moved out of this apartment. Scary.

Well, I had better get back to stuff but I just wanted to say hello to everyone, I may not comment on the blogs but I love to read them every day!! See ya'll later - JONI

Look mom...a swimsuit model

Okay, very short blog today. I am taking the bad picture thing one step further. Until Utah State scores an offensive touchdown, I promise to post a horrible picture once a week. I was thinking about doing it until they won a game...but come on, who has that many bad pictures. Seriously, losing to BYU 38-0 is an embarrassment. If that was the one game they won all year long I would be happy. But this just takes the whole alma mater thing to a horrifying level. Maybe they need me in the crowd again, or maybe I could recruit some of the junior high kids I saw playing football today. Either way, anything is an improvement. To be honest, I am seriously mad that I posted these pictures. I knew Joni would do it so I wanted to beat her to it...boy did I show her.

Eating Habits

First of all, Joni is going to kill me when she finds out that I posted that picture. Joel left a challenge to find some flattering photos, I found a lot but I won't post them yet. I just found this one of Joni when she must have seen a spider or something. I don't know why I posted the other one, I just had such a devilsih look in my eyes and Steve would appreciate all of the color in the photgraph. I am still giggling like a little girl when I think about the picture Joel posted on his new blog, check out joelsdumbblog.blogspot.com....sorry, had to giggle again. If you are wondering what it is I am looking at in the picture, it is a zinger (twinkie) with a cheeto, 2 peanut butter m&m's, a cold shrimp, and a skittle dipped in tarter sauce. Joni's brother dared me to eat it on New Year's Eve...I did of course but the funny thing is that he got sick the next day for doing it too. It wasn't that bad if you separate all of the tastes. In Chile I would always make eggs with hot dogs on toast, with jam, cheese and caramel. So I was better prepared I guess.
I met a guy in Chile with no teeth but he loved apples. Of course that made me wonder how he ate apples so I asked him for a demonstration. He grabbed an apple in his hand, and violently slammed it four or five times against the wall without breaking the skin, then slurped the apple right out of the skin...probably one of the funniest things I remember seeing. Funny how we all have our little "things" when eating. Before my endoscopy, I would get the hickups without fail after eating. Joni has her little habit of making every bite the best bite ever. She lines up all of the little sauces and delicately picks up the best looking part of each food group, it is pretty amazing to watch. My mom doesn't eat anything, then proceeds to call herself "fat". Dad magically makes the food go from the table to his stomach within seconds. Joel never fails to have some of the food remaining somewhere on his body, and Glen just eats...a lot. I think Steve must be the happy, quiet eater. Melecia...well, I don't remember but I am sure giggling is involved. I would like to know if there is a female out there who doesn't prefer what is on everyone else's plate to her own. Does that exist? Even if I order two plates of what I am eating, my plate always looks the best. Question, what is the most disgusting thing you have ever had? For me...I think liver or seaweed soup is up there on the top of the list.

Dirty dishes

I am sitting here in a messy house trying to figure out what smell is coming from the kitchen, which makes me wonder...why do I wait several days sometimes to do the dishes? I can smell a little bit of the Eggo waffles and syrup I had this morning, and some of the chicken I made last night...It is kind of making me hungry. I don't even want to begin to guess what is in the trash can. Now before you go judging me thinking I am disgusting, I will clean it all up...but why do I let it all pile up? One thing I never did was resort to wearing a pair of underwear from the dirty clothes pile, that is gross. I don't know how someone could do that...same thing with wearing the same clothes for more than two days in a row. I say two days because working at Lowes absolutely destroys my clothes so I have this little plan to change my shirt but wear the same pair of pants to get maximum use for two days, then they can get washed. Think about how gross people had to smell back in the day when they only had one pair of pj's. I used to think girls were so weird because they would only bathe or wash their hair a couple times a week...I must be getting gross in my older years because now waiting a couple of days to wash my noggin seems pretty normal...and bathing every day seems excessive, unless sweat is invloved. Maybe it has to do with not taking showers in the morning anymore. When I have to go into work at 5:30AM, I want to get the maximum amount of sleep so I wake up 15 minutes before I leave (just enough time to eat).
Hearing everyone talk about the cold weather makes me thankful to be here after the hellishly hot summer. It is still in the 90's and should stay in the 80's for a couple more months...then it gets "freezing" here as the locals say at a chilling 60 degrees. To their credit I hear the nights get down into the 30's. It is funny to hear people around here complain about the cold, really wimpy.
I cannot wait until the season premeire of "The Ofiice" tonight, on NBC at 7:30. Super funny show, but you have to have the right sense of humor for it. I have to admit I get a little giddy like I do for Broncos games before hand. Speaking of the Broncos, I am excited to see the game since it is at night on my B-Day...lets hope it'll bring them some luck. It's funny because I was more excited to see the game than I was mad about missing church since I work during the day...sounds kind of bad, but it IS the Broncos. When I go to hell I'll just explain that my family introduced me to my addiction...that might just work. Time to clean up.

Dog Training

Today I started the real hands on training at my work. My new superviosr got her masters degree in conversation conflict management...I didn't even know there was such a thing. You might as well call it dog training with people...degree. She is the type of person that talks to you like you are three years old, and if you look away from her for a second she says, "look at me...now repeat what I just said". I am beginning to understand the cliche about men being slaves to big women. When I do something right I find that I look at her to throw me a bone or something...it's really weird...kind of out of my element. How is it that every job is the most important job in the world? ...I'll explain. I got this job thinking it would be low stress and easy, but it is actually worse than my management job at Lowe's. How hard is it to scan cards and answer a phone? That's what I thought, but then everyone makes a huge deal if I answer the phone a different way or forget to say the person's name when I check them in. All the people want to do is come work out, but all the employees started freaking out when the District Manager came for a visit. I seriously can't call a person out loud who is ten feet away, I have to page them. As a manager at Lowes I find myself getting upset at relatively stupid things as well...its weird. I will never shop the same again now that I have been in the retail business. It is amazing what some people expect and how upset people can get about the dumbest things. Don't get me wrong, sometimes there is reason to get mad, but having to smile and listen to people vent is really frustrating. Maybe I should be like my dad and just fall asleep. I couldn't imagine the frustration of hearing people tell you about their problems ALL day long. Dad, how do you do it?
That reminds me of a HUGE pet peeve of mine...I absolutley hate it when girls call me "honey" or "sweetie". That goes back to the Big woman thing, having control over little men. Women have to know how degrading it is, or maybe I am the only one who doesn't like it. I remember a few years back we were going to Hannah's baptism in Colorado and my car broke down in Wyoming. We drove all the way back to Provo and then when we got back and told my dad we weren't going to make it he started talking to me like a baby' "oh little pauwy broke his widdle twuck?" I was mad, I don't think my dad realizes how mad I was at that moment. I have since gotten over it but the baby talk thing stuck with me. So call me bitter when I get treated like a little booger at work, but that's the way it is. We get free passes to work out, so it is pretty cool though. Just remember the next time you get mad at some poor little college kid at the supermarket because you can't find the tampons and he doesn't know what a tampon is, remember that he is a normal peron too just trying to make some cash.

Observations

Congrats to the Broncos for winning the ugliest game ever, but hey, a win is a win...especially against the Cheifs. Also, congratulations to Utah State for being the worst football team in all of college football. They have had convincing losses (20-0,38-7, and 48-0), and without an offensive td yet this season. At least when I went to school there they made you think that you could win until the fourth quarter, unlike now when the game clock starts, people already start leaving in order to avoid the crowds and get home faster. I love how all the football players acted like they were so cool when you saw them in the hall, then they got mad if you didn't cheer when they were down 189 to 0. I never booed though, I will never boo any of my teams under any circumstances, just express frustration by throwing a pillow or writing a blog.
I started my other job on Saturday. It was funny because there is a camera above me that so that I can see myself all of the time on tv. I never noticed that I have a little bald patch on the back of my head. I always thought I could hang on to that a little bit longer, but all I can see on camera is the glow of my big white spot (my head) and my little white spot (also my head). The funny thing about being bald is that in the back of my mind I am always 18 years old and really, really rediculously good looking...then I look in the mirror and remember that I am almost 27. It happens a lot, does that happen to anyone else?

Happy Birthday to Gayle and Jo Ann, the big 50. I still remember the funniest birthday card I have ever read, Joel gave it to my mom a LONG time ago...There was an enormous ship being unloaded on a dock by a big crane with the phrase, "congratulations, your birthday candles have arrived!".

Joni and I went to the mall to watch people the other day. That is the only way I will go along...or if food is invloved. It is amazing how much people dress like thier friends and partners...and how people look like their cars and their dogs. If you haven't noticed it is amazing to watch, from the same shirts and hair styles, to shoes and tucking in and out your shirt. Airports are even more fun because there is a wider variety of peolple there. It is creepy too because so many couples look like they could be siblings, but then again in Texas maybe they are.

Dancing

I apologize in advance to Joni's family for these "blackmail" pictures that I found in our archives. We had a video but it was erased so I'll let you use your imaginations. One night we were all sitting around thinking of what to do while listening to music. One thing I love about Joni's family is that they are a creative bunch and there is never a moment of boredom. If we are all outside and there are rocks nearby, you can bet we will make up a game involving an impossible throw and a prize in the end...and sometimes even a person running back and forth like one of those duck targets at the fair trying not to get hit by flying rocks. I thought it was the funniest thing that Joni used to play a game involving dirt clods, bags, and trees when she was little (fourteen) and found entertainment by it, but that's what you have to do in a small town like Vernal. Anyways, we were all listening to a Michael Jackson CD, (he used to be really cool believe it or not) and Joni's brother brought up the idea to have a dance off and whoever had the stick in their hands had to dance. It was one of those things that you imagined being really funny but that you would never do. Well, I have the photos to prove it...the pics are of Gayle, Joni's aunt Jo Ann, Andrea, and me with the stick between my legs.











It was one of those moments that you wake up the next morning and hope you didn't do anything to offend every member of your wife's family...and I will forever have the images of everyone dancing in my head. There are countless moments in my life when I had such a severe laugh attack that I lost feeling and control in my limbs and the veins popped out of my big forhead as I sweat off about ten pounds...that or my acid reflux likes to kick in when I laugh...and that night was one of them. That's why families are so cool, you could be the village idiot and they still love you in the end.

Speaking of the village idiot, has anyone ever seen Martha Stewart's tv show? I can't believe that lady can make a living on tv. It was like watching a bad accident...I couldn't turn away. She has the most awkward moments of anyone else on tv that I have ever seen. I seriously feel bad for the people who come on to her show as guests. If I ever become famous and go on tour, I will call in sick when she invites me to her show, but I guess I won't have to worry about that...being famous.

Texas style wrestling

Sometimes I forget that I started a blog. I always check out other blogs in my family and I think how hard that would probably be to start a blog or how much time it would take to do write one all of the time...then I remember that I have one...sweet. Joni says I should put more pictures in the blog, and she is right, but I don't know how cool that would be to show a different picture of me or Joni every day. I could take a picture every day and show my age progression, then you could just scroll down with the mouse and see my hair fall out and turn gray over time...Joni would always look the same. Some guy at my work a while back asked if Joni was my daughter, I seriously couldn't beleive it. I know I look older than I am but come on. I remember in college when I lived with Glen and Joel, everyone thought that I was the oldest, or at least older than Joel...what do you say to that?...Thanks? Those were some fun times. I can't beleive I live in Texas and no one here knows about Texas style wrestling. For those of you who don't know what Texas style wrestling is, let me tell you. It's one of those trick things, you have to pick out some one who is really gullable (but won't cry), then you put a sleeping bag over thier head and tell them that they have to keep it on the whole time. Meanwhile, they think they are wrestling someone else in a sleeping bag, but what is really happening is that everyone watching is beating up on them. That sounds really mean but it is pretty funny to watch. This one time we ended up dragging this girl into some apartment and leaving her there...it was great...I can only imagine her face when she came out of the bag and saw a bunch of people she didn't know looking at her.

That reminds me of another fun game, rolling down the stairs in sleeping bags. Last time I was in Salt Lake I was trying to teach Carter how to do it. I really don't remember it hurting as much back then as it does now, plus kids must be smarter these days because Carter wouldn't do it but he insisted on watching me pulverize my tailbone over and over again. I just kept on doing it for some reason...maybe I am the one who got duped into it..anything to please a crowd I guess. Maybe I could invent Texas style wrestling in Texas. Has anyone ever heard of pouring peanuts into coke, then slurping them down? People around here think I am crazy because I have never heard of it. Maybe I will try it and let ya'll know how it goes. I am thinking about buying a cheap pair of golf clubs, any suggestions?

What happened to the Broncos?

It is hard to believe that five years have passed since the twin towers fell, Joni and I have been watching some shows on tv about some of the firemen on some home video footage that has been pretty cool. I remember one of the most memorable things about going to New York was going to ground zero. I hate to admit I wasn't excited to go see it, but it was totally worth it. There was an incredibly sad and empty feeling standing there next to all of the construction even though I had never even seen the towers up close in real life. I remember that day it all happened, I was cutting some oak shelves for a customer on a panel saw at work in the lumber yard...everyone kept telling me things were happening but my boss wouldn't even let me take a break to see what was going on, I didn't find out the extremity of everything until that evening when I got home...stupid boss.

Today I memorialized that moment five years ago by counting a billion little knick knacks for inventory. Imagine cleaning out someone else's closet that is only about 50,000 square feet...that's inventory. After the first ten hours my deodorant starts to fade a little, and my head gets really sticky from all of the sweat. I can't help but smell my armpits over and over again just to see if the smell gets any worse every ten seconds...but then my shirt sticks to my head every time I sniff. Not only do I sniff but I have to get in a HUGE sniff to make sure. Am I the only one who does that? I get really self conscious about smells from the body because I just can't understand how some people can't notice how bad they smell. In high school this guy in choir had the worst case of poo breath I had ever smelled...then I started wondering if I smelled like that. So I brought 4 breathmints to school everyday, one for every other period so that I could not possibly have stinky breath. So I wonder if I need to buy a holster for a canister of deodorant that I can use at free will when I feel like I stink. They should make air fresheners that can hang from your pit hair, or little fans in shirts...I think I am on to something